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Big M & Little M - Meesha & Maliyah

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Friday 13th Mar
Ive suffered for quite some time now. I always thought I had it mild, well i was wrong. I realised only a year into the midst of it all that i eas suffering pretty bad. It all happened when something changed me almost 2 years ago to the date. What im talking about is Depression!!
I started hiking and bush walking again recently and I have a new bike and crave the freedom and wind in my hair, the quiet nature sounds and the sweat dripping from my forehead. I actually love it.
Slowly but surely I will beat this darkness. I know I can. But I also understand completely when people cant, and dont unfortunately beat it. I get the pressure, I understand the staying in bed and not leaving your house, I get that everything is bloody hard. Im literally living it now. The guilt is shit but I do have motivation somewhere. Everyday is like 0.00005% off me getting better. Its not much but atleast its getting better. Im also aware of how bad I got and want to change for ME and my family.
This is no joke, this is not just 'in people's head' or 'you have the power to change'. Its not that bloody simple. If it was, we'd all love in la la land full of gum drops and rainbows. No!! The world and our personal lives can get dark. So go easy on yourself. There is light. It may be faint but the world will start showing colour again and not everything will be grey and cold. I promise.
To anyone who feels the guilt in all aspects, cant leave their bedroom, around people who just dont get it, or see the world in a dark grey filter at the moment. I hear you, I see you and I love you. You've got alot of potential in this world. As do I. And I'm so glad you woke up today and read this. You are amazing.
Im going to walk with my daughter and show her that finding things that make you excited or smile and see pops of colour in the world when everything can seem so blah, is something to take through life. Its not always a smooth road.. there may be bumps, wrong turns, pot holes, breaking down, but I want to teach her to see the light in everything. See the positive in everyday. You've got this!!